Overcoming That “Broken” Feeling + Drum & Bass Track [Comeback EP]


If you have been following this little series about my latest release then you may have seen me mention the tracks of the Comeback EP. Today, I want to take you through the 2nd track called Broken, which I originally made a little while back now following a rather nasty injury that happened so innocuously (as I was training for my next marathon at the time) but only revitalised it after feeling overloaded from work drama earlier in 2018. Let’s dig a little deeper, first, taking you back to 2011.

Thanks to @gabrielatravels for the front cover artwork!

Marathon Days

When I went through my proper “running” phase, where I felt the strong desire to sign up for running events with my old school friends, I was feeling pretty good. A strong sense of fitness after all the hard work to get there from being a couch potato and the training sessions were intensifying for the next marathon I signed up for in 3 weeks time, Berlin 2011.

Just A Regular Training Session

Or so I thought. It was all going well enough, I just got back in from a dogged 10 mile (16km) run and freshened up with a shower. Now, in the long terraced student housing I was in, the shower was on the ground floor at the back of the kitchen with the bedrooms up the stairs. Once I showered, I made my way back through the kitchen, through the living room and headed for the stairs to get changed.

I managed to navigate the first couple of steps with consummate ease but it seemed the 4th one had other plans. As I went to lift my foot up to plant it on the stairs, it got caught in the towel I was wearing and I didn’t catch the step properly. Rather it caught me…


Somehow, only my middle toe on my right foot managed to land on the edge of the stair and as my centre of gravity was moving forward, my whole body weight came down on top of the middle digit and that’s when I heard it. The snap. Followed by a rush of pain and a sinking feeling that I may need to stop my female housemate from going to sleep as she was the only one with a car to take me to the hospital!

Thanks to @gabrielatravels for the back cover artwork!

The Calamity Begins

But first, I needed to get changed and out of this cold, wet towel that was also starting to cool me down and fast! At first, the hopeful side of me was thinking it was just a dislocation and I could simply slide the toe back in to it’s socket. As I looked down…well… let’s put it this way – you didn’t need to be an A grade student in trigonometry to realise the angles were all wrong!

Next challenge, putting my jeans on without touching the foot. Failed, 3 times, each time resulting in stronger cursing than the previous attempt. On the 4th attempt – success! I was “jeaned up” and ready to face the consequences of waking up housemate Claire after she had just tucked herself in.

“Claire… are you decent?” I asked in case she enjoyed “baring the fabric”.

“Yes…? Why?” She asked, mightily impressed with my original line of questioning.

“Well, I think I may have broken my toe. Don’t suppose you’d be interested in a trip to the hospital on this fine Friday evening?” My salesmanship was pretty green back then…

“Oh yes absolutely Nick, thanks for the invite!” She definitely did not say.

Bless her, she did get me out of a spot of bother that evening and I was very grateful for her staying with me. Especially on Friday evening when we saw scores of people coming in who were under the influence of alcohol, obviously got in to fights and couldn’t handle their drink.

3 hours later, I got my X-Ray and it was a beauty if I do say so myself! It was a completely clean fracture and the bruising had already began around the foot so they acted fast to put a “buddy wrap” around the middle and 2nd toe then sent us on our merry way.

I did learn that night that bone starts to re-fuse together within 48 hours so if you suspect you have broken a digit, get it looked at immediately or buddy-wrap it so it at least holds shape!

Thankfully, it didn’t require a full cast! [Image Source]

The Birth of “Broken”

Well, I had to ask the doctor, out of hope more than expectation it has to be said, whether or not I could run the Berlin marathon in 3 weeks time. It was a resounding “No”, followed by “No running for you for 8 weeks”. Oh. Bummer. Something I had been training for and feeling really good about doing, gone, taken away by something so innocuous. I definitely will not be making that mistake again (touch wood)!

Alright then, I can’t walk to my lab at University and have to rest for the next week so my only option really was to flip open the music software and start making this track called “Broken”. I was in a lot of pain when I began working on it and so wanted to find a sound that depicted that pain, which I found in the form of the main synth that comes in from the very beginning. Once that first week had passed and I was able to walk to the lab though, I wouldn’t revisit this track for another 7 years…

The Last Laugh

If you thought I was going to let a broken toe ruin my enthusiasm for running then think again. In fact, it made me more determined to come back in 2013 and try the Berlin marathon again! I was meant to run the 2011 with my best friend and biggest running rival Mr. Wheeler but I went along anyway and provided the moral support for him… as he beat our previous record set by me and ran it in 4 hours and 17 minutes.

There’s no way I’m having that! Once I fully recovered, I had my heart set on finishing what I started by running Berlin 2013 and take my record back! A little competition is good, see 😉 And to my delight, I completed the marathon, injury free AND ran it in 4 hours 16 minutes. A record that stood until 2016 where I shaved another minute off and ran the Amsterdam marathon in 4 hours 15 minutes. Boom!

Yay! Personal best time from the Amsterdam Marathon 2016

The Revival of “Broken”

So that’s how the track began but as with a lot of my projects, it takes a life event to find the impetus to rightfully finish them off. If you remember from the beginning of this blog (I know, that was a long way back now), I mentioned that this track is the next in sequence from the EP, following on from “Overload”.

Well, I made this one when I hit my bottom of all the drama that the stress of work overload was giving me earlier this year so there should be no surprises when you hear the drama of this track kicking in from the off. It couldn’t be more appropriate to have revived this one as it isn’t just the physical pain from the injury all those years ago but all the mental pain as well that goes through the head when you feel you can’t take things any more as they are and you know you need to do something about it. Well, we’ll find out what that “something” is in the next blog about this EP 😉

All’s Well That Ends Well

Usually a cliche but after reaching that Broken state over the last year, I did take a big step to change things and, for the time being at least, it’s going well and I’m feeling a lot happier to have made it through these Broken moments!

Let’s Hear It!

Of course, here is a link to the whole EP with clips of the tracks for you to enjoy:

And I’m pleased to say that it’s now set up on my website shop for you to grab yourselves a copy – feel free to browse the website store.

Coming Up Next…

I’ll be going through the third track of the EP called “Reality Check”, which begins to turn that negative energy from the first two tracks in to a more positive one! There may also be another entry in the Havey’s Travel Diary series, which is long overdue so either way, you’re in for a treat haha! Not only that but a couple of good producer friends have made some amazing Prodigy remixes that are too good not to share with you! But until then…

Take it easy


3 thoughts on “Overcoming That “Broken” Feeling + Drum & Bass Track [Comeback EP]”

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